bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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