The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize