a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
