You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
