Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
sex in a hospital.. check
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
