he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
