i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize