just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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