his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
