Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
