I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
