Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
