I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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