My underwear smells like fireworks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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