I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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