At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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