I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
