Slut skills are useful in every country.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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