too bad you live with your parents still
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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