He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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