He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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