New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
