Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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