Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
