Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
