hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
