you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
