BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
