so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's always time for handjobs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
