I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize