just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
