Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
