Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My penis needs a shock collar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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