dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
