I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
