the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
