Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
