Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
