after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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