WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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