Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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