I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize