it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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