Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Everyone says I win the strip club
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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