Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize