Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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