it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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