where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
