I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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