I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
