im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
