That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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