I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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