what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
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