You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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