So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
