I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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