Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
