I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We have started to decorate penises.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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