Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize