if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wear drunk well.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
